'Woke' Christmas Greetings to you all!

[autobackup]

At this time of the year it’s extremely difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So I’ve checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2022, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Great Britain is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced!

So Merry Christmas to one and all!

[John Scherrer]

Thanks Paul !

You definitely have too much time on your hands !

The same to you, whatever that means.

[Hedge]

Dear AB,

I am properly offended by this, so have little option than to sue your ar$e in court.

All the best, 'n stuffs.

Hedge

[autobackup]

Hedge

Will you need accommodation during the 5 years that it'll take for this to come to court in Cyprus as having initiated legal proceedings you will not be permitted to leave the jurisdiction until the court case is settled.

I assume that you speak Greek as all legal proceedings are conducted in Athenian Greek - translation comes at cost!!

Season's greetings to you and yours!

[Hedge]

Absolute minimum, Winkle, aye.

And I can speak Propa Bubble if you can speak Essex, innit. I'd love to hear how that translates in a Greek court.

(Keeping it real) Cheers,
Hedge