A traditional Friday Joke:

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Bruce Fielding
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A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by Bruce Fielding » Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:46 pm

Every other forum seems to do this, so why make Atomclub an exception. (If your hair is golden, look away now...)

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable." The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write,' comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."
Ariel Atom Owners Club founder, based in Central London

David Ryan

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by David Ryan » Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:52 pm

Very good Bruce And clean as well!

szemy

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by szemy » Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:49 pm

Waiting for the next friday  ;)

John Lloyd

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by John Lloyd » Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:06 am

A salesman was looking for a room for the night and went into and inn.  "Have you got a room for the night?" He asked the owner.  "Well we are full up, but I suppose you could sleep with my daughter, if you promise to to bother her." said the owner.  So after a meal and a couple of late night drinks the salesman went up to the room and so as not to wake the dauhter got undressed in the dark and slipped into bed.  The next morning the owner asked how the night was.  The salesman said "It was OK, but your daughter was rather cold". "Yes," said the owner "we're burying her today."

FAST BUCK

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by FAST BUCK » Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:09 am

nice

AtomFun

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by AtomFun » Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:14 am

Have you heard about the new 'Two in one' hair shampoo, designed especially for gypsies?

Go & Wash
Last edited by AtomFun on Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Bruce Fielding
Posts: 16320
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:13 pm
Location: London
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Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by Bruce Fielding » Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:38 pm

And there was I expecting the standard to go up...
Ariel Atom Owners Club founder, based in Central London

AtomFun

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by AtomFun » Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:20 pm

and you should know better :) How many years do you have in the university of life?

benyeats

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by benyeats » Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:41 pm

I was walking along the street when I came across a chicken, "cluck cluck cluck" it said.  "cluck cluck cluck" I replied.  Then a policeman came along and arrested us both, for using fowl language.

Thank you, I'll be here all week

Ben

P.S. despite the above I did used to work as a stand up in Belmarsh prison, talk about a captive audience.

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Bruce Fielding
Posts: 16320
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:13 pm
Location: London
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Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by Bruce Fielding » Thu Oct 06, 2005 11:24 pm

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks.......... "How many is a brazillion??!"
Ariel Atom Owners Club founder, based in Central London

FAST BUCK

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by FAST BUCK » Fri Oct 07, 2005 6:34 am

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big  breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.



After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.



The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's so sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"



The woman replies...












"It's Keith, the midget."

benyeats

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by benyeats » Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:31 am

A fairy tale

Once up on a time a man asked a woman to marry him, she said 'no'

So the man went out with his mates, drunk a lot of beer, went motor racing and lived happily ever after

the end

Ben

ross

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by ross » Fri Oct 07, 2005 8:04 am

Blimey Ben - something you want to tell us?


[quote="benyeats"]
A fairy tale

Once up on a time a man asked a woman to marry him, she said 'no'

So the man went out with his mates, drunk a lot of beer, went motor racing and lived happily ever after

the end

Ben
[/quote]

John Lloyd

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by John Lloyd » Fri Oct 07, 2005 11:12 pm

Is it still Friday?

What's the similarity between parsley and pubic hair?  You push them both to one side and carry on eating.  ;D  ;D 

AtomFun

Re: A traditional Friday Joke:

Post by AtomFun » Sat Oct 08, 2005 8:52 am

Geez! And I though I was bad!!!  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o

I don't get it anyway.

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