Joke

A place to be silly and pass time mindlessly
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Karl V

Re: Joke

Post by Karl V » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:24 pm

So my wife just said to me "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

What an odd way to start a conversation...
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AlanP
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Re: Joke

Post by AlanP » Tue Jan 01, 2019 12:33 pm

What do you call a woman who shaves her bum?

Anita Harris
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dunny
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Re: Joke

Post by dunny » Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:41 pm

Practically impossible to follow that one.
However, a drunk staggers into a Catholic church,sits down in a confession box and says nothing.
The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention,but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally,the drunk replies;' No use' knockin' mate,theres no paper in this one either'.
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Re: Joke

Post by dunny » Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:09 am

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Told you!
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Karl V

Re: Joke

Post by Karl V » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:47 pm

What do you call a man with an empty garage while his Nomad is in Crewkerne?

Cranky.

It wasn't meant to be funny...
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AlanP
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Re: Joke

Post by AlanP » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:01 pm

How do you know the woman in 'Jaws' had dandruff?
'Cos she left her Head and Shoulders on the beach.

She was only a footballers daughter, but she sure like her 'uddersfield...

Don't you love the old ones?

A
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Re: Joke

Post by dunny » Thu Feb 07, 2019 12:17 pm

Yep.
What do the fastest fish in the pond drive?
An Ariel motor-pike and side-char.
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Karl V

Re: Joke

Post by Karl V » Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:01 pm

The Nomad was broken in to in a multi-storey car park at the weekend.

Wrong on so many levels...
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Re: Joke

Post by dunny » Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:23 am

AN engineer, a system analyst,and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes failed.They screamed down the mountain,gaining speed and finally managed to grind to a halt more by luck than anything else,just inches from a thousand foot - drop onto jagged rocks .
They got out of the car and the engineer said 'I think i can fix it.' The systems analyst said,'No i think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it.The programmer said,'OK but first i think we should get back in and see if it does it again.
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Karl V

Re: Joke

Post by Karl V » Thu Apr 11, 2019 6:16 pm

I'm thinking of getting an Atom 4 for my wife.

A great swap if you ask me!

:vroom:
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GraemeW
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Re: Joke

Post by GraemeW » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:22 am

:roflp:
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Re: Joke

Post by dunny » Tue Apr 16, 2019 10:50 am

Why can't you buy Aspirin in a pet shop?
Because the Paracetamol :)
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Karl V

Re: Joke

Post by Karl V » Mon Apr 29, 2019 10:45 pm

I used to be addicted to swimming, but I'm proud to announce that I have been dry for 2 months now.
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AlanP
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Re: Joke

Post by AlanP » Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:26 am

Old but I love it.

Turn the volume up to hear it properly.



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GraemeW
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Re: Joke

Post by GraemeW » Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:40 pm

OMG Alan. Nearly soiled myself


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